I just thought that I would check-in, wish everyone Happy New Year and let you all know how I am doing. I am feeling very anxious, I thought would have a full time job by now and that has not panned out. I had a great interview at a major academic institution last Wednesday, so we will see. Let me get my stats out of the way first.
Current weight: 169 lbs
Highest weight: 216 lbs
Comfortable weight: 150 lbs
Goal weight: 125 lbs
I am getting comfortable in California. The weather is wonderful with no complaints in this department. Spinning classes have saved my life. I have been spinning 5-7 days a week. My weight is up but I am not panicking--I know it's my anxiousness and stress. I have been running (a little) and walking a lot more. I know that I am eating more calories (being around family does this). But I am very proud to say that I made it through my third holiday season without sugar. Yes, still no sugar. I have been trying to watch my red meat and am contemplating giving it up, nothing definitive yet (but age will play a huge part in this). I am sure this is where most of my extra calories are with carbohydrates. Anyway, it's always a work a progress. I guess I am just trying to get the message across that nothing is ever that bad and there were several bloggers last year who fell off just before my move across the country. I wanted to write something about this but I just couldn't speak to a recent stressful situation in my life since I had hit my goal weight. Yeah, a little keeping up with my Dad's health across the country. So I felt that I could write about this now; quitting my job, applying for new positions in a new state, moving myself across the country, dealing with my 80+ year old parents' health, living with a relatives, working retail part time and on and on. I am a creature of habit and I have no set schedule which also creates stress in my life. I am doing my best and exercising a lot, which helps. I just wanted to state all of this to say that it's never that bad, just keep it moving; literally.
I will return officially next week with all the aggregating of maintenance bloggers you all can stand. Have missed you all!!!!
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feelings. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
how am I feeling...
I have been asking myself this question a lot lately, it's a part of my living consciously. Last week was really rough for me. The election, especially filled me with angst and I really wanted to eat more bread, more carbohydrates (popcorn). I gave up white sugar and high fructose corn syrup (hfcs) about a year ago for the last time. I have also given up caffeine. For me this was a personal choice. I inferred when I started writing here last month that it has taken me over 10 years to figure it all out (it's not really all figured out, but I started losing weight again). It took many of the books I read and just started trying things. Sugar makes me crave more sugar and one might say, so what, it makes me do this too. Well, I liken food addiction to any other (insert addiction here). Now I am not a scientist but this is what I know for me, when I eat the white sugar and/or hfcs, I do not lose weight. It is simple math for me. I want to live at a healthy weight subtract the white sugar and hfcs. Again, it's a decision made by me for me. The caffeine part was a little more trickier. In the year 2000, I began consistently exercising and cutting back on the calories, generally trying all my old tricks to stay away from 200 lbs. Nothing serious happened for a while and I consistently drank about 2 Venti Americanos per day, 3x3x2 shots of espresso, a habit that I had gotten into during graduate school, 1994-96. Anyway, I knew that someday I would have to give this up because I was going to get older and the heart and such. I wasn't so much worried about the heart as I was the weight not coming off, at all!!!
Fast forward, 2011, I had to have major abdominal surgery and before the surgery my doctor asked me to give up caffeine and so I did and I have not touched a cup of coffee or espresso since March 2011, yep, cold turkey and for the last time. I had given it up for lent a few times and when I felt the heart go extra beats but it never stuck. I think it sort of scared me that she had to ask me to give it up before major surgery because of anesthesia and the uncertainty that comes along with that. I willingly didn't give it a second thought. Sometimes I drink a diet soda when I am out. I don't fret over it because sometimes I crave the carbonation and I can find a caffeine-free type, except when out with friends. This has maybe been 3 times over the last year and a half. I do still love the smell of coffee and when I smell it, I acknowledge it and think about something else. Giving up sugar, is not hard or difficult; I just have to be aware and ask questions. I decided that white sugar and hfcs are my triggers--so none of that, but if an iced tea needs an equal or the pink packet then it's OK. I also use natural sugar for baking, turbinado is working for me, if I do any baking, which I try not to. I also use fresh fruit as a dessert whenever needed. I learned this summer and I am sure that many know this, but all fresh fruit is not created equally. The high sugar content fruits (watermelon and pineapple for me) also interfere like white sugar for my progress. I found out this past summer when my progress stalled around the 7 month mark. My doctor decided to have me do blood work since it had been over 6 months since beginning the program. Sure enough, my glucose was 102, up from 82. I admitted to eating much more pineapple and watermelon than I should but it was a hot. I should have known something was amiss when I was craving it all the time. It wasn't that I was gaining weight but it was that I was not losing weight, which should be a sign for people. If you are doing most of things that you know are correct to do; you should be losing weight--if not something is off. I don't drink coffee or tea and only drink iced tea or a diet soda at restaurants so I don't really need a sugar substitute that often. I have been experimenting with baked goods but would like to keep this to a minimum while still on my journey. I tend to be the type of person who listens to her body, especially weight wise. I think being aware of triggers and letting go of things that don't allow you have successful weight maintenance is the way to go, again, I cannot stress enough, everyone is different.
Fast forward, 2011, I had to have major abdominal surgery and before the surgery my doctor asked me to give up caffeine and so I did and I have not touched a cup of coffee or espresso since March 2011, yep, cold turkey and for the last time. I had given it up for lent a few times and when I felt the heart go extra beats but it never stuck. I think it sort of scared me that she had to ask me to give it up before major surgery because of anesthesia and the uncertainty that comes along with that. I willingly didn't give it a second thought. Sometimes I drink a diet soda when I am out. I don't fret over it because sometimes I crave the carbonation and I can find a caffeine-free type, except when out with friends. This has maybe been 3 times over the last year and a half. I do still love the smell of coffee and when I smell it, I acknowledge it and think about something else. Giving up sugar, is not hard or difficult; I just have to be aware and ask questions. I decided that white sugar and hfcs are my triggers--so none of that, but if an iced tea needs an equal or the pink packet then it's OK. I also use natural sugar for baking, turbinado is working for me, if I do any baking, which I try not to. I also use fresh fruit as a dessert whenever needed. I learned this summer and I am sure that many know this, but all fresh fruit is not created equally. The high sugar content fruits (watermelon and pineapple for me) also interfere like white sugar for my progress. I found out this past summer when my progress stalled around the 7 month mark. My doctor decided to have me do blood work since it had been over 6 months since beginning the program. Sure enough, my glucose was 102, up from 82. I admitted to eating much more pineapple and watermelon than I should but it was a hot. I should have known something was amiss when I was craving it all the time. It wasn't that I was gaining weight but it was that I was not losing weight, which should be a sign for people. If you are doing most of things that you know are correct to do; you should be losing weight--if not something is off. I don't drink coffee or tea and only drink iced tea or a diet soda at restaurants so I don't really need a sugar substitute that often. I have been experimenting with baked goods but would like to keep this to a minimum while still on my journey. I tend to be the type of person who listens to her body, especially weight wise. I think being aware of triggers and letting go of things that don't allow you have successful weight maintenance is the way to go, again, I cannot stress enough, everyone is different.
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